Beard says Go, Tim says Whoa

Driving home in my beautiful truck tonight my beard and I had some time to be alone and conversate.  Allow me to lay the background to the conversation.  Set the tone.  Adjust the mood lighting.  Fire up the incense. Etc.

The two television were set to different stations.  One played the perfunctory NBA basketball game, Thunder (w/o Harden aka the Bearded One) vs the Who Cares.  The other had been turned to Duck Dynasty (an American Tale of Epic Proportions):  dododu dododu dododu (the Waynes World noise as they transition into a Dream Sequence).  try to keep up.

enter off stage right a glorious beard and a humble man

off stage a truck door closes:

Beard states "I love that show, Si is the Man"

I wax "Those beards are appreciated.  If only you people understood you too"

Beard says "Rough day for me today.  'More teddy bear than grizzly bear' she said???? That's bullshit.  You see this thing?"

I say "Be cool beardy, they are just joking with you" in a reassuring manner.

"I command attention and respect" Beard retorts in a huff.

'Whoa turbo, take it back a step.  I feel your anger bro.  People just don't have the respect for a well grown mustache or beard that they should'

Bla, Bla, this, Bla, Bla, that.....My beard and I hatch a plan on the way up 85....

"Let's try to take over the world" Beard says (in pinky and the brain fashion)

In a Jimmy Carter meets the Middle East-Esque manner I divert the anger into a positive form of release by suggesting this Blog.  "Hey Beard, why don't we do a blog instead?"

Seconds turn into minutes and minutes turn into more minutes as Beard thinks this over...."OK, fine" he relents, "But the blog picture has to focus on me with very little emphasis on you"

I hope that the millions of people that are reading this can excuse any sort of bias we might show towards facial hair and feel free to agree with as many of our opinions as you can.  We will update this at every moment that the equations ring true:

(beer/wine/booze + free time + inspiration + magical beard powers = blogging magic)

p.s. - completely separate note - all 20,000 of the people signing online ballots to secede from the Union should grow up.  Vote when you can.  Lose like a grown up or move to another country.   I am sure you will love it in Canada or Mexico.  "Adios or whatever the Canadians say for piss off"